This isn’t fun anymore. Not that it was actually fun to begin with. But I have hit a point past my physical pain tolerance. Which is pretty hard to do when I’ve set my mind to it.
That sensation that alcohol causes burning into a cut to clean it? I like how that feels. The feeling that I have all over my body right now is burning and itching. It is so beyond my pain level I wish I could pass out so I don’t have to feel the pain anymore.
I had my third Infusion of Cytoxan on Monday. It seems to be an average thing for my functioning to start to come back around Thursday-Friday after the Infusion.
I keep wondering if this is really helping anything. My quality of life only seems to have gone down. What has it gone down for? Muy numbers on my blood work? But were those numbers really affecting my lifestyle on a level that the treatment itself is?