Just a little Anti-Consumerism

Looking around the room at the strewn bottles of SunnyD and Diet Coke,

Chipotle and Wendy’s wrappers
and take out munchie leftovers
of UDF chip bags and milkshake cups
I know each name, I know each brand, by the colors and the symbols on the trash
left behind
Piled up from visiting friends through out the week
When I hear him say
“What’s with leaving all these
fucking advertisements
around my place?”
I look around the room again acknowledging all the propaganda that
we have
surrounded ourselves in
At what point
Do we no longer know when an idea or thought is our own; rather given to us by the empty bottles and thoughts of others
from visiting through out the week?
At what point
Do we no longer see the propaganda as it is; instead seeking products for the lights and colors
they condition us
to preference from?
As he angrily cleans up the trash, we make our grocery list
Make sure you get this brand
I say
and don’t forget
that brand
doesn’t taste as good
he says
At what point
Are our choices no longer our own, but the choices we have been taught are
what
we REALLY want
through propaganda?
As consumers we are the brands’ advertising
In a household that doesn’t buy for a brand alone
it’s remarkable
the impossibility
of buying brand free, without money
Looking around my place all I see are signs, symbols, and advertisements for consumerism
in an anti-
consumerism
house
At what point
Did I become the propaganda that I fight against?
With every outfit I wear I rep a look and brand
With every dish we eat, with every item we use, we advertise a lifestyle that is aimed to reel in
more
customers
At what point
Did I realize
I was always
part
of the consumerist society I’m fighting?

Name Change Time, Mrs. R

Guess what I did today? Among the much needed cleaning and organizing and Thank You letters written today… I managed to get my new Social Security card and Drivers’ License!!! Officially legally MRS. R now! Legally recognized by Federal and State! WOOT!!

But I was pretty pissed that I can’t change my middle name to my maiden name as is traditional in my family still. My state doesn’t allow for middle name changes?! I’m like, right cause obviously I’m a mobster in hiding… sigh. I’m still going by my maiden name as my middle name though, thank you very much!

Wedding Politics

I’ve heard people complain about their weddings, the “adults” in my life that is. But I didn’t really understand until now. I’m going through planning a wedding and it’s mind boggling how much extra nonsense other family members manage to put into the wedding planning.

There have been a number of times throughout the process that my brain has thought, “Why didn’t I elope like I always wanted to?” I have to remind myself that eloping may be easier, but I want my family around me to celebrate. I wanted my friends to be there as well, but that option was taken out from under me. I should start at the beginning of the drama. But I don’t have the energy. This might be something I reflect back on for y’all in a few months instead.

 

Figuring Numbers

I’m beginning to get more nervous about my abilities at work. I lost a lot of logic and reasoning skills with my strokes and I used to do physical therapy to work on that stuff. It’s been years since the therapy had been more than a passing”oh I should do that again” thought… But now I am beginning to see how necessary it is that I should have kept that up. I wonder how much my lapsing is damaging on a permanent scale or if ,as my friends exclaim, “that math stuff can always come back!”

Purple Unicorn- the Imposter Complex

6/27/13

The Imposter Complex- Being so brilliant that you can see the brilliance around you and believe you can never measure up, believe that you’ll be found out for the fraud you are.

 

What an interesting contradiction this is. The level of intelligence required to get to this belief is proof in itself that anyone with it is indeed brilliant as well and is a peer among those they see brilliance in.

Spirituality

Individual expression of spirituality is essential to inner strength. How each person expresses or experiences their spirituality is different. I think people are often scared off from experiencing their personal spirituality, because our society has taught us to equate religion as synonymous with spirituality. I consider this unfortunate. Because, though religion is very largely sought and often positively influential, it isn’t the only means of exploring personal spirituality.

7/1/13